藍天 * ` __

我無法名狀自己為什麼要寫下這麼長的故事。也許是由於我擔心自己會淡忘，會就這麼讓回憶遠去。日夜念寫邁克爾讓我更加清醒。我想和大家分享我所認識的這個邁克爾，刨去超級巨星的光環，這是一個神奇優秀的人，我想你們都瞭解真實的他，狂熱之後都需要一點平靜。

我和大多數歌迷一樣，起先對其天籟之音著迷，那還是在危險之旅期間，自從那時候起我就一直追隨他。處於各種原因，我無法有幸跟隨其出現在眾多場合中。但是，今年六月，我能去洛杉磯見他，我和他的一些死忠歌迷一起，他們是多年一直追隨在邁克爾身邊的歌迷。他們都是很棒的人，都被同一種激情所聯繫。

我一次經歷中，我幾乎每天都可以見到他，他來回去才彩排、攝影棚或者影院（他看了《飛屋環遊記》）。當我抓住他的手時，我感覺自己進了天堂，尤其是在聽到他的真實聲音後，簡直就是天使之聲。他真的是很傑出，優雅，耐心，總是想讓歌迷們知道除了孩子之外歌迷就是最重要的。不管他多累（因為他確實曾經每天工作八個多小時），他都會至少用一個揮手或者微笑向我們表示。第一天起，我就覺得一定要感謝這個人，要給予他禮物與支持。我給了他信件、圖片、古典音樂碟（孤獨的牧羊人，大衛蓋裏特等）。

有天，我有幸和他單獨談話。我談到了演唱會，並對其努力表示感謝，並只用其本性其存在就讓無數人快活，他就有這中獨特魅力。我還說儘管如此，對我來說追重要的是邁克爾要快樂才行。他說如果我們高興他就會高興。當時我差點哭了出來。我當時就想他是一個內外皆美的人。他感謝了我，說了幾遍我愛你，一種平穩的姿態。在我以前寫的信中，我向他描述了我是怎麼預想他最後的宏大演出，作為最傑出的藝人，其歌曲和信箱訊息等。但你們能猜測得到嗎，他說這些演唱會與他無關，而是與這個世界和愛的資訊有關——他是一個凡人，但是他對我來說確實是愛的先知。這種交換真的讓邁克爾成為一個特殊的，被選中的靈魂，我有幸投透過其巨星光環看到這一面。這是無價記憶，但是最搞的是當我的兩個朋友要我加入他們，一起對邁克爾唱整曲《我對你的愛不息》兩邊，就在在他的花園旁邊，用對講機。

在他生命的最後兩天，我給他寄了兩封信，和兩件禮物：一本給他以及孩子的書；一件T恤，而且他還真的穿了這件T恤參加了週三的彩排。一定是上天的旨意，讓他在最後一次舞蹈中穿著歌迷的禮物，並傳達一種資訊給歌迷。

最後一次見到他是在星期三的晚上，他微笑著，揮著手，握緊拳，說他愛我們。他那時精神很好，我對他說得最後一句話是，“邁克爾，我們很愛你。”

他和其他明星不一樣，他會讀我們寄給他的信，我收到過確認的。我們歌迷對她來說確實是重要的。事實上，他曾說過，“歌迷就是他的世界。”因為他將這些話記在了心上，我會在後續的帖中和你們分享一些，因為這也關於你。

最後，也是最重要的是知道他去天堂的時候是有人為他祈禱並愛著他的，這可能會帶給我些安慰。他的子女們在家裏祈禱，他的兩個歌迷在那天早上祈禱，很用功地祈禱。最後時刻他不是孤身一人。他和他愛的人很近，他給了這些人自己的所有，甚至是生命：孩子和歌迷。這就是我確信他會繼續和我們在一起。但是我們需要讓我們的國王自豪，讓其傳說延續。

http://www.mjjcommunity.com/forum/showthread.php?t=72213

I don’t know why I’m writing this long story. Perhaps because I am afraid of forgetting, of letting go. Constantly thinking and writing of him keeps me sane. And because I want to share with you how I perceived Michael, the wonderful, incredible man, behind the superstar. I know you understand his true essence and need some peace in this crazy aftermath.

I was a fan just like most of us: fell in love with his voice first, during the Dangerous tour, and followed him from afar, always in my heart, since then. For various reasons, I wasn’t fortunate enough to be able to travel to his various appearances. But this June, the stars aligned for me and I was able to go to LA and meet him. I hang out with some of his dearest fans who had been by his side for years, loyal, discreet and showering him with love and attention. They are wonderful people, united by a common passion.

On my first trip there I saw him briefly every day, going to or coming from the rehearsals, movie studio or the movies (he saw UP). I was in heaven when I held his hand and got chills when I heard his truly angelic voice in my ear. He was amazing: gracious, patient, always wanting to let fans know they are the most important thing besides his kids. No matter how tired he was (because he indeed used to work more than 8 hours each day), he would at least acknowledge us with a waive and a smile. From the first day I felt a burning need to just thank him for everything and shower him with gifts, supporting letters and words of love. I gave him letters, pictures, classical music CDs (the Lonely Shepherd, David Garret, etc).

One day I had the immense privilege of briefly talking to him alone. I talked about the concerts, thanking him for his hard work and reinforcing to him that he has this unique power to make millions of people happy just by his essence, his presence. I said that despite this, what matters to me is that he was happy. He said he will be if we are happy. I almost cried then at his unearthly selflessness if it weren’t for my nerves. “He is so beautiful, inside and out” is what was going through my mind that moment. He thanked me and said I love you a few times, with a peaceful demeanor. In one of my previous letters I had described to him how I envisioned his grand finale in the last concerts, the songs and the imagery and message that could have solidified him in history as the greatest entertainer. But guess what, he said these concerts were not about him, but about the world and the message of love….He is human, but indeed a prophet of love to me. This exchange really reinforced that Michael is a special, chosen soul and I was fortunate to see first hand this side of him, above and beyond his superstar persona. This is a priceless memory, but the funniest/ silliest is when two of my friends convinced me to join them serenade the whole I just can’t stop loving you to Michael twice, near his garden and then on intercom 

In his last two days in this world, I gave him two letters and two gifts: a fantasy book for him and the kids and a shirt he actually wore to rehearsals and on stage on Wednesday. Fate would have it that the last time he danced on stage he would wear a gift from fans with a message for fans- see the pic below…

The last time I saw him on Wednesday night he smiled, waived, pumped his fist and said I love you. He was in good spirits. My last words to him were “love you so much Michael”.

He is unlike any other. He read our letters and I got confirmation. We really mattered to him. In fact, in his words, “we were his world”. Because he left with these nice words in his mind, I will share a few highlights with you in a subsequent post, because it’s about you too.

Finally and most importantly, this may bring some solace to you, knowing that he didn’t rise to Heaven without a prayer and feeling loved. His kids were praying inside, while two of his fans were praying outside that morning, very hard, fearful, with all the soul. In the end, he wasn’t alone. He was close enough to people he loved the most, people for whom he gave his everything, even his life: his kids and his fans. That’s why I’m sure he will continue to be with us forever. But we need to continue to make our King proud and carry forward his legacy, as his army of love…